


An End and a Beginning

by xoPrincessKayxo



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoPrincessKayxo/pseuds/xoPrincessKayxo
Summary: “I miss Homeworld, but it’s not home. You’re my home.” Silence falls between them, light and heavy at the same time.“You’re my home too,” Rose says finally, and the smile they share is wide enough to cross several galaxies.The story of Pearl’s heart- first how it’s broken, and then how it’s healed





	

**Author's Note:**

> Here have my "It's Over Isn't It" and "Last One out of Beach City" feels. I just want Pearl to be happy, okay?

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”  
Pearl fights the urge to roll her eyes. How many times have they had this conversation? Camped out on the battleground, the enemy ten feet away? She didn’t understand what made Earth so special or different, but Rose did, and that was all that mattered. Fighting wasn’t something that came naturally to her, but for Rose she learned. She’d do anything for her. She doesn’t say any of this. Instead, she just smiles, grabs her sword, and nods.  
“I know.”

* * *

 

Pearl doesn’t miss Amethyst’s knowing smile when she sees her. She doesn’t miss Steven’s questioning look. Somewhere, deep down, she’s aware of all of this, and yet, she still goes over. She doesn’t know what it is (yes she does), but she has to at least talk to the gorgeous, mysterious human. And she does succeed in the end, even if it doesn’t go completely according to plan.

* * *

 

Rose is waving goodbye to her newest human companion- Troy or Trent or something. He’s the first one in a while and his presence shouldn’t shock or bother Pearl quite as much as it does. Garnet’s watching her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. She remains stoic- they may have taken the strange fusion in, but she doesn’t owe her anything.  
“Come sit with me,” Rose says walking over. If Pearl nearly trips over herself, it’s simply because she was shocked out of her thoughts, and not because she was rushing to get to Rose’s side as fast as possible.  
“So what’s this one like?” Pearl asks, careful to keep the resentment out of her voice (Rose hears it anyway. She knows her far too well).  
“He’s an artist. He wants to paint a portrait of me,” Rose explains with a wistful smile. That does nothing to lessen Pearl’s envy, but the beauty of Rose’s smile makes it slightly easier to ignore.  
“Well that’s silly- frivolous, really. Where would we even put a portrait? Humans and their need to immortalize everything,” she mutters, keeping her eyes on the setting sun.  
Rose, used to Pearl reacting this way, just reaches over and takes Pearl’s hand. Squeezing lightly, she says, “No matter who comes into my life, you will always be my favorite.” Humans don’t have a word for the way this makes Pearl feel, but the feeling they call “butterflies” will have to do for now.

* * *

 

Pearl’s not ready for this. Not even a little bit. Steven hands her the phone with an encouraging smile. Apparently, this is how humans communicate when not in the same vicinity. It’s simple enough, but the minute she hears the soft, amused, “Hello?” on the other line, she almost drops the phone.  
“Say something,” Steven whispers, and she kind of regrets borrowing his communication device for this.  
“Hello,” she echoes back timidly.  
“Hey!” the voice on the other side brightens with recognition, “Calling to hear me thank you for rescuing my planet and species?”  
“That would be nice, but unnecessary. I just wanted to… Talk I guess?” And they do. For hours, until Pearl looks over to see Steven asleep on the couch.  
“I should go,” she whispers, but it’s still a while before either of them hangs up.

* * *

 

Their quiet moments together are her favorite. When Garnet and Amethyst are asleep and they sneak out to look at the stars. It’s the only time Pearl allows herself to miss Homeworld.  
“I miss it too, sometimes. It was our home,” Rose says softly, breaking her thoughts.  
“I miss Homeworld, but it’s not home. You’re my home.” Silence falls between them, light and heavy at the same time.  
“You’re my home too,” Rose says finally, and the smile they share is wide enough to cross several galaxies.

* * *

 

“Pearl’s got a date!” Amethyst singsongs, shapeshifting and circling around her.  
“Amethyst, please! We’re just ‘hanging out,’” Pearl explains shaking her head, “Now should I wear this jacket or this one?”  
Garnet’s not much help either, she just sits on the couch, looking more and more amused by the second. Pearl’s about ready to write off both of her friends completely- maybe Peridot and Lapis have extra room in the barn- and then the doorbell rings.  
“Oh my stars! I changed my mind. I can’t do this, there’s no way I can do this.”  
“Pearl. Look at me. It’s going to be fine,” Garnet promises, steadying her, “Just be yourself. Honesty and communication, that’s what’s important.” And sure the three gems had their differences sometimes- that’s what happens when you’ve been together for thousands of years. But moments like this are when it’s clear that choosing to stay on Earth was the best decision she could have made.

* * *

 

Rose was completely unpredictable. She was spontaneous and impulsive, but Pearl always prided herself on the ability to see past that. She knew Rose better than anyone. Until Greg came along. None of them could have predicted what was going to happen when he came into their lives. Pearl was used to seeing people admire Rose- she was beautiful and selfless. Everyone was in love with her. Pearl used to watch the way people looked at her and stand a little taller. They would never be as close to her as she was. But Greg came along, and suddenly everything was turned on its head. Rose was looking at someone the way people always looked at her- and that someone wasn’t Pearl.  
“So when are you going to be done with this one?” Pearl asks, late one night after Rose gets back from a concert.  
“Pearl-” Rose says tiredly, and she hates that. Hates being spoken to like a difficult child. Rose always comes back. Why hasn’t she come back?  
“It’s just, you’ve never been with anyone this long before. I- I miss you,” Pearl whispers, before she can think better of it. Rose gives her a rueful smile and she wants to scream. She knows that smile- it’s careful and fully of pity, and she never, ever, wanted to see it directed at her.  
“I think it’s a little different this time,” Rose says cupping her cheek softly.  
“D-Different? Different how?” Pearl asks, even though part of her already knows the answer. She just wants this to end. Wants the tears to stop stinging the back of her eyes, wants Rose to be hers again. She wants so much, but what does she get?  
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I think… No, I do. I… I love him, Pearl. I’m sorry, but I do.”  
Everything seems to shift in that moment. Pearl feels like the ground has been pulled from under her. All those years spent together, patiently standing by her side, all of it, over in an instant.  
“You… You do? But I- But we… What about me?” Pearl finally chokes out, “What about me?”  
“You know how much you mean to me, that hasn’t changed-”  
“It hasn’t?” Pearl snaps, cutting her off, “Funny, it feels like everything’s changed.”  
“Pearl-” Rose calls, but she’s already running away. She just has to get to her room, and then she can break down in peace. They say you feel better after you cry, but Pearl doesn’t. She sobs until she can’t breathe, and then just lays there, feeling hollow, and thoroughly, completely, unloved.

* * *

 

Pearl can’t remember the last time she’s felt this light or laughed this hard. Riding a motorcycle was both terrifying and freeing. Spaceships were one thing- she knew how those worked, but she knew nothing about this. She had no control here.  
“You okay back there?”  
“I can’t remember that last time I had this much fun!” Their shared laughter rises into the sky, the soundtrack to an already amazing night.  
“We’re here!” S calls soon after, shifting the bike into park.  
“You do realize I live on the beach right?” Pearl asks, looking around.  
“Well, yeah, but I thought you’d enjoy the ride. Plus, having a date three feet from your house is a little awkward. Picnic?” S asks, holding up a picnic basket.  
“Oh no! I mean… Ahem. That’s okay. I’m not hungry right now,” Pearl explains quickly.  
“Sure. Well, we can just sit for now,” S agrees, laying out the blanket.  
“No, go ahead. Eat,” Pearl insists sitting down across from her.  
It's awkward for a while, but eventually Pearl starts to relax. Garnet and Amethyst had warned her not to bring up Rose, but Rose was the farthest thing from her mind as the two started to talk and get to know each other. The conversation flows easily, Pearl pointing out constellations and S singing a few bars of a song each constellation reminds her of. It's easy, pleasant. Pearl can barely remember the last time she’s connected with someone that deeply.  
“I should get back. Everyone’s probably expecting me home soon,” Pearl says apologetically. Human time is still a strange concept to her, but she can tell Steven should be in bed by now.  
“Yeah, my roommates are probably wondering where I am too,” S agrees standing up.  
“Your roommates?” Pearl asks curiously.  
“Yeah! Spencer and Ash. They’re waiting to hear all about tonight,” S explains as they walk.  
“Sounds just like Garnet and Amethyst,” Pearl replies laughing.  
“Maybe we could introduce them to each other one day,” S offers.  
“Yeah, maybe,” Pearl replies with a soft smile.  
They ride back to the temple in companionable silence, the contentment floating between the two of them. And if Pearl’s cheeks redden when S kisses her on the cheek and promises to “text her soon,” it’s only because she can feel Amethyst and Garnet watching from the window (It’s not, but you already knew that).

* * *

 

“I have to do this Pearl. I don’t expect you to understand, but this is what has to be done,” Rose says, cradling Pearl’s face gently.  
“Well I don’t understand. I didn’t understand your choosing Greg, but at least I could live with that. Living without you though? I can’t do that. I don’t know how to do that,” Pearl explains desperately. Rose is her whole life- she doesn’t know who she is without her.  
“Yes, you do. You’re going to do amazing things, Pearl. I know, because you’re amazing. And I know you’re going to take great care of Steven. You don’t see it now, but it’s all going to work out in the end.”  
“I love you Rose. I love you so much,” Pearl whispers, tears already running down her face. Rose smiles and kisses her hair.  
“I know you do. Promise me you’ll love Steven just as much.” Pearl nods, because what else can she do? Rose’s mind is made up.  
Steven is born soon after, and even though Pearl loves him almost instantaneously, it’s a while before she can be around him without feeling like her heart has been ripped out of her chest.

* * *

 

Eventually, Pearl has to explain everything. Rose, Steven, Homeworld, all of it. She takes S down to the beach, which has kind of become their place, and lets the holograms do most of the talking. She doesn’t know what kind of reaction she expects- laughter, her running away. But something strange happens instead. S takes her hand.  
“She really broke your heart, huh?” she asks.  
“Broke my- oh, right. Metaphorically. Well, yes. But it wasn’t all bad. There was- is a lot of good.”  
“I hope I’m one of the good things.”  
“You are. Promise.” S kisses her then, soft and sweet, and she knows in this moment, she doesn’t belong anywhere but here.  
“I can’t wait to meet everyone,” she says after they pull away.  
“Me either.”  
Introducing everyone goes about as smoothly as it can. S and Garnet hit it off right away- they’re actually more similar than Pearl realized. Amethyst tries her best to freak S out, but once they get talking music, they’re pretty much on the same page. And S loves Steven immediately. This thing between them might not last forever- human relationships almost never do, but for now it’s enough to watch everyone getting along with the person that makes her smile wider than she has in a long time.  
Steven pulls her into the kitchen, saying he’s got something really important to tell her. Pearl’s sure whatever it is can wait, but she goes anyway.  
“I just wanted to tell you that Mom’s really happy for you right now,” he explains, almost sheepishly.  
Pearl smiles and wraps her arms around the younger one. Of course he’d pull her aside to tell her that- that’s who Steven is. And sure he’s part Rose, but she knows this is coming from a place distinctly, uniquely, Steven.  
“Thank you. For everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want, come say hi on tumblr @obessive-mess!


End file.
